Losing Your Shit: Learn to Think Before You React

Ever had a time in your life that you were so angry that you lost your cool before you could form a rational thought? I have. Most people have had at least one of those moments in their lives. Most of the time it’s not something we’re proud of, however, we knew after we did it, we may have made a different decision if a moment of clarity showed up first.

This is what many call, losing your shit.

Going HAM or better known as hard as a mutha.

Opening a can of whoop ass.

Kicking ass and taking names. Losing your shit can come in many forms.

On March 27, 2022, we saw an epic example of someone losing their shit. A moment where they allowed emotions to take over before a moment of clarity could show up. During the Oscars, Chris Rock made a few jokes about Jada Pinkett which resulted in Will Smith walking on stage and slapping the soul out of Chris Rock. At first, I thought it could not be real because there is no way Will Smith would lose his shit during the Oscars. Hell with the Oscars, I would have bet money Will Smith wouldn’t lose his shit at car wash. He always seemed to be so controlled but that night he showed everyone he’s human.

Side Bar: I do not think Chris Rock attempted to go after Jada to hurt her. I also don’t think Jada has the juice to get a grown man to act outside of himself. Will lost his cool trying to show he’s ‘bout it ‘bout it and didn’t think of the consequences of how it would look to slap another person. Bruh was tripping. Jada was tripping by making no attempt to stop her man if she thought he was about to do something silly. Chris needs to hurry up and give us a comedy special on this slap.

Now back to the main topic…losing your shit.

Those moments when we are triggered by the words or actions of someone else can cause us to act in ways we have would not have chosen if we had taken a moment to think. It is easier said than done in the moment. There are times that losing your shit is absolutely warranted, however, every action has a consequence so when to pull the trigger is important.

Breathe – It will keep you quiet

In moments when I am feeling triggered, the first thing I do is take in some deep breaths. When I am breathing deep, I am not talking. Breathe in through your nose and out of your mouth. During that time take a moment to calm down some of that intense energy and make a choice to do nothing but breathe. Every action does not require a reaction from you. That moment and feeling will pass…eventually.

Do Nothing – You don’t have to respond

Life is full of choices, and you have the option to decide if you want to devote time and energy to things that trigger you. You don’t have to return a hateful statement with a hateful reply. Some of the best responses include no response at all. Conflict is collaboration. Choose to fly solo!

No need to have the last word or even to affirm your opinion. Choose happiness in that moment. Seriously. You must choose happiness because happiness is a choice. Happiness is freedom but violence comes with restrictions.

Laugh – Release the anxiety

When being triggered it can cause anxiety. Before you lose your shit have a nice, good laugh. Laughter is a great way to release tension. It’s better to laugh in the face of a challenge than it is to leave the scene in handcuffs.

Don’t worry about what others think when you laugh. Tell them it’s a technique to deal with anxiety. You’re not even required to tell them they are causing the anxiety. Just laugh. Laugh your way to a place of peace and serenity that cannot be disturbed by external forces.

Change your environment

If the same people and things are around you when you are triggered and pushed to the brink of losing your shit, its time to change your environment. This is a pattern that cannot and will not change on its own, but you have the power to change it.

If you are unable to change your environment immediately, find ways to take quick moments away to yourself in order to settle some of the disruptive energy. Take a quick walk, go to the bathroom, or go meditate for a few minutes in a quiet space. Do what you need to do to remove yourself mentally and/or physically from the space or individuals.

While watching someone lose their shit has become one of the key ingredients to going viral, there is always another day after the cameras are gone. The day after you lose your shit you start to wonder why you didn’t take a moment before you took that first step.

Learn to take control of yourself and the moment. Learn that triggers do not control you, but you control you. Learn you are not required to immediately respond to foolish behavior that may encourage you to act in ways you may regret.

Breathe. Do nothing. Laugh. And if all else fails, get the hell out of there before you lose your shit!