Forgiveness can be one of the hardest things most of us will ever do in our lives. When someone hurts you, the natural reaction is to feel pain, anger, and maybe a little resentment. All of those things are for you and are only felt by you. What if you want to get to the other side of the anger and pain?
Forgiveness is acknowledging what did happen and how it happened instead of what should have happened or could have happened. Forgiveness allows you to heal yourself of the pain.
Forgiveness is letting go of the feelings of hurt and pain and moving on to the next moment of your life. Forgiveness isn’t easy but can be necessary to get to the place you want to be.
What is forgiveness?
Forgiveness is an acknowledgement and an understanding of what happened to you. It is a step into the present instead of living in the past. It is an acknowledgement and the simultaneous act of letting go.
Forgiveness is an understanding you may have to love someone from a distance. It is an understanding you can accept people for who they are and still choose not to engage in a relationship with them. Forgiveness is ultimately way more powerful than any anger or resentment that you may hold.
You cannot heal as long as you hold onto things that have already happened. You cannot change what’s already happened, you can control what happens from this moment forward.
Forgiveness is a choice. You have to choose to want a life of happiness and hanging on to that pain will never get you there.
What is not forgiveness?
Forgiveness is not saying what happened to you is okay. You can stand for yourself and acknowledge your feelings and forgive someone at the same time. It does not require you to ignore the hurt, pain or betrayal that you may feel. Acknowledge all of those feelings, but don’t remain in the space of feeling those feelings forever.
Forgiveness is not weakness, it requires a different level of energy and strength than resentment and anger.
When you focus solely on the resentment and anger, you can’t receive the growth and the gifts within your own life. Those feelings become a blocker for you to receive the love and support and and compassion from others who did not hurt you.
You are what you give your energy to. Not letting go gives others control over your emotions and your happiness.
Make a conscious choice to believe you are in charge of your life and you get to choose it’s condition. As long as you choose to lead with the hurt and pain you will always get what you’re giving.
Why should you forgive someone?
Choosing to forgive someone is to heal yourself; it is not about the other individual. You can’t get better if you’re only focused on the past. A past you cannot change or control.
Move beyond that single moment and let go of the weight. The weight will make it hard to move forward and enjoy your life. You have to make a choice.
Resentment and anger can also cause physical and emotional health issues. Studies have proven that forgiveness can help with fighting off depression, anxiety, diseases, and infections.
Preserving these feelings of paint will take up all your time and energy and prevent you from living. Move on so that you can grow.
How long does it take to forgive someone?
The timeline is different for everyone. Forgiveness can happen in a matter of hours or it could take days, weeks, months or years. You’re not required to forgive immediately.
You are strongly encouraged to come to a place of forgiveness so that you can heal yourself. Remember, forgiveness is not about the other person it’s about you. You can never have true happiness hanging on to the dead weight of anger and resentment.
What do you do after you forgive?
After you forgive someone, continue the process of healing. Healing doesn’t happen overnight and takes time. Even if the pain that was caused happened in a single moment, the pain of that moment could radiate forever. Decide to live beyond that pain, there’s something better on the other side.
Don’t apologize for moving on without people if that’s what you choose to do. Forgiveness does not require you to maintain a relationship with individuals who have hurt you.
You also don’t have to explain your reason for moving on without them. This is your life, you get to choose what you will and will not give your energy.
Nurture your inner peace. When you love who you are, when you know who you are, this mindset is difficult to be disrupted. Choose YOU first. Set the example for others so they understand what is acceptable and what is unacceptable when they engage you.
Forgiveness is one of those secret sauces to life. My grandmother always used to say, ‘Resentment is just like using the bathroom on yourself, only you can feel it.’
What is forgiveness? The ability to move on beyond the pain. The best revenge is a happy and better life, not a life spent wondering and worrying about those who hurt you. Acknowledge the work that you need to do and do that work you’ll be fine.
When you forgive you don’t forget, you gain your freedom and peace of mind forever. Once you obtain that peace you won’t allow anyone or anything to disturb it.