How to Stop Being Insecure

Everyone has suffered from an issue with confidence. Insecurity happens because all of us have dreams and fears that either paralyze or motivate us each day. How do you quiet the voices of doubt in your head and be secure in your talents and abilities?

The way to stop being insecure is to validate and reinforce your value, face the fears and criticisms of the past and present, accept difficulties and failures, surround yourself with good people, and stop caring about what others think about you. 

How could life be different if you really believed in yourself? What would your life really be if you really believed that everything that you set out to do was going to be a success?

What causes insecurity

There is no one cause for insecurity. Insecurities can stem from multiple different things such as past trauma and our environment. Sometimes you know the root cause of your insecurities and in other instances you may be unaware. Before you can begin to resolve your insecurity issues you must first acknowledge why these feelings exist.

Each one of us is born into the world a fearless individual. Over time we learn through different experiences how certain situations made us feel and we file that feeling away in our mental file cabinet. It’s human nature to try to avoid feelings of discomfort and sometimes we avoid anything that will trigger that feeling of insecurity.

The world we live in is full of images that constantly remind us about our insecurities and work to reinforce negative thoughts. Sometimes we take ownership of the insecurities that generate from the negative images.

Validate and reinforce your value and worth

Each day you must remind yourself that you’re worthy of respect, love, and success. If you don’t reinforce the belief that you are able and capable of accomplishing anything that you put your heart, soul, and energy into, you probably won’t accomplish it.

Speak positive thoughts and affirmations into yourself first before anybody else wants to tell you about how awesome you are. The secret is you will never believe anything anybody else ever tells you that’s good about yourself, if you don’t already believe that about yourself too.

You pay the cost of insecurity until you build your confidence. There is no way to consistently pretend to believe in yourself long enough to sustain it and accomplish your goals.

Reinforcing and validating your value and your worth also helps to lessen the negative voices from the outside world that we hear on a daily basis and the voices and that are inside of our own heads.

Confidence is a skill that you must build. You don’t just wake up one day and all the insecurities that you possessed all of your life magically disappear. It is a job that you must put in the work.

Face the fear and criticisms of the past and present

Many of the root causes of our insecurities come from past events and traumas in our lives. Not only trauma in our personal lives but also in our professional lives. We continue to live in the past not moving beyond the moment of that feeling that left us uncomfortable and uneasy.

You have to face your emotions in order to change the way you view yourself. You’ll have to have tough conversations with yourself and get honest about your feelings. Sometimes you might need to talk with a therapist or other professional to work through the issues.

You can’t stay paralyzed in the criticisms of the past feeling that emotion over and over again. It never leads to believing in yourself but instead creates more self doubt.

It starts with your mindset and dealing with all of those things from the past that continue to block your confidence and belief in yourself. Choosing not to acknowledge issues from the past will block progress to become more secure and confident in yourself.

Accept failures and difficulties

Everyone fails. It’s a fact of life. Failure provides an opportunity for you to do it better the next time. Failure does not define you forever. Know that failure is a moment that doesn’t have to last.

Life is not a movie or a television show where everything gets wrapped up just the way you want it in a few hours. Building confidence takes time and work to accept and understand your failures so that they don’t become a source of insecurity when the same situations arise again.

Failing is not as big of an issue as many people think. It’s not about failure, it’s about what you do after you have failed. What could you have done differently to have a better outcome?

Life can be difficult sometimes due to what we think about ourselves and from what we see and hear in our environment. No one lives a life that doesn’t include a difficult time or moment. Accept that these moments happen but don’t allow these moments to destroy your confidence.

Difficult moments are like every moment in life, they are temporary. Learn the lesson from the moment and remind yourself you are worthy and awesome of whatever you desire. There will always be another good moment or opportunity so don’t stay stuck on the difficult ones.

Surround yourself with good people

Toxic people create more toxic people. Just because someone is nice to you or you consider them a friend does not mean that they’re good for your life and self image. Some people seek to destroy the confidence and love that individuals possess in themselves. This happens because people lack their own love and respect and want the same for you. Don’t allow what others think about themselves to be projected onto you.

We will never be confident if we surround ourselves with people who don’t want us to be confident. If they want you to live the same miserable life that they’re living they will pull you in. Misery loves company. Make a decision to advocate for yourself and your life.

Stop caring what others think about you

Everyone has had a moment when they’ve wanted to be accepted by someone else. Wanting acceptance should never come at the risk of your self esteem and self worth.

Before you can even begin to consider what anyone else thinks about you, you must create and nurture a mindset focused on knowing your value. When you know who you are, you will fight to protect it.

What other people think about you is none of your business. Their opinions of you have nothing to do with you but have everything to do with them.

Being secure with yourself is a superpower. Loving who you are and knowing that you are capable of doing awesome things, deserve to be respected and loved, allows you to step out and take real chances. When you live in fear you can’t live your potential because it stops you from even trying.

Each day never forget to remind yourself about how awesome you are. Think of this as a daily exercise to build your confidence. It’s like breathing oxygen or eating food. It is necessary for life. Don’t expect anyone else to speak greatness into you but yourself.

For the next 7 days get up every morning and look in the mirror and tell yourself, ‘I am an awesome individual and the best is yet to come.’ Don’t skip days. Make sure it’s always the very first thing you do to set the tone for your day.

At any moment in which you start to feel self-doubt and insecurity creep in, repeat that same phrase again, ‘I am an awesome individual and the best is yet to come.’ It will. You just have to believe in yourself.